the art of being... present

Every day after lunch, with remnants of food still dabbled on her face, Ava asks for one thing:

"Mom, can we do an art project please?"

I hesitate. Because I know the right thing would be to first have her clean up the dishes with me... then put away leftovers... and her tricycle before Aaron trips over it again... pickup her Scholastic DVD's before Noah sticks them into the VCR... or the Mrs. Potato Head pieces before they are thrown into the abyss of the air vents on the floor.... I know I should stack her library books before another late fine accrues... or get a load of laundry done so their pajama tops match their bottoms...

But the hesitation gets deflected for some reason, and I find myself squirting her tempera paints into an egg carton.

In every color.



I find myself pulling up a child's chair - and watching her... create something so sporadic with colors in every direction. Suddenly a tree appears in emerald green... then with a wash of purple paint, a bicycle seat appears instead... We make small talk until Noah finds us at the art table. I pull off his sweater and give him a paintbrush. He dips it into a puddle of yellow and them stamps his white space... as if playing the drums.



He wants a different color for his second paint brush in his other hand - and starts to pull the carton towards him. Ava shrieks, and Noah threatens her with his brush by holding it like a spear. She doesn't give in - she's in the process of mixing more colors and needs close access. They play tug of war until finally, I intervene and remind them about the "middle" of the table.



But to Noah, the "middle" appears misleading at his height... so he climbs to the top of the table and discovers a more unconventional way to paint - like using his bare feet.



I picked up Noah in full fledged giggles [he knows not to stand on tables!] and carried him to the bathroom. He laughed when I washed the bottom of his feet. So I pretended they were still dirty so I could hear him laugh even more. We changed his clothes quickly so we could check back with Ava... Too late. She painted both of her palms. Second amateur painter whisked into the bathroom - now flooding a new room with their paint...

In every color.

Their clothes eventually made it through with the loads of laundry later that night... the art table and bathroom counter tops were wiped clean, and their toys once again reunited with their boxes. Stains, clothes, missing pieces of toys... are replaceable. But what can't be is our time with our children. By doing so, we're teaching them the importance of embracing the present, and living passionately.

They do this so naturally, and I remind myself how to do so by following their lead.

Even if they have to go to bed with mis-matched pj's...

s'mores please

budding volunteers

When I enrolled Ava into the Mother's Day Out program, I was hoping there'd be opportunities for me to sit in the class with her and sing songs or read books.

But no such luck. Instead, my parent involvement was needed elsewhere - like crafting an item for their annual luncheon and silent auction. At first, the project lingered over my head like a dizzying cloud.

This all happened right around the time Ava got sick - and had to miss school for the first time. She couldn't sleep that night, so we let her help paint. She worked in silence and smiles... dipping the foam brush into the can...




and then lathering it on as if she was frosting a cupcake...



The next day we coated the chair with leafy green paint and then headed to school with Ava to get everyone's thumb prints in two different shades of brown.



At home, I found myself stumped on how to turn these chocolate squiggles into sunflower buds... So I made an emergency phone call to my good friend and interior designer, Marie, to sketch the petals while I filled them in with marigold yellow and glitter...



The luncheon was fun. One woman at our table turned out to be an old acquaintance I had worked with more than 7 years ago. Her son was in the one year old class, thanks to Noah, who forfeited his seat after only 4 classes. Her son apparently loves the program and if Noah could talk, he'd probably tell us that it was the worst experience of his life so far. It just comes to show - not all kids are ready to leave their nests... even if it's to go out and play all day....

Aaron and I were a bit overwhelmed with the timing of the project, but looking back, the squeeze was a perfect fit. By volunteering, I actually committed my family - Ava with her sniffles staying up past her bedtime and painting... Aaron corralling a classroom of squirmy toddlers all by himself for their finger prints... and Noah test driving the chair to make sure it still rocked... right after the last coat of polyurethane...

Everyone did so great, and I am humbled by their energy and love they poured into it. The experience had many teachable moments - here are a few things I learned:

1] volunteering our time, even when we think there isn't any to give, is actually an opportunity to gain more of it - as a family

2] how great it feels to be a part of our community and supporting a cause...

3] there are roles for each of us - no matter how big or small - as long as we are all involved, together... we are leaving our prints behind for others to follow

modeling responsibility

Voting in the 2008 Presidential Elections will always be memorable for me. Not only because Ava drew a smiley face in the white space of my ballot... but because the experience has taught me so much...

As our children grow with wonder, so too does our parental responsibility. Their curiosity and questions challenge us, causing us to go into a spiral of reflection and ask ourselves... hmmm... well, what do I really think about that? And why haven't I done anything about it before?

Why be unhappy with a system that doesn't work when our children reach that door? Why not dive into the issues now, and work towards improving it - so that when our children grow, and are out there in the real world, they have a sense of value in what it means to work hard for the common good of all.

My parents have taught me that. In the 30 years they have been here in America, they have worked hard, facing many obstacles and sacrifices. I realize that profoundly each and every day - appreciating their commitment to family, and modeling how hard work and patience will help you achieve your goals.

I don't have the same worries nor the challenges of raising a family like they did. Our family experiences vary by several degrees and decades. But no matter how different they are, our final thought - as parents - are the same: How can I provide a better life for my children.

It is this answer to this question that has kept my parents moving. First, of leaving life as they knew it, behind in Afghanistan so that my sister and I would have a chance at getting a good education. Then, building upon each day....from saving dimes, to one day owning their own home... while retaining strong family values like eating dinner together every night as a family...

All of these moments truncate to our own parenting. It may have taken them 30 years - but I believe they are both proud of how far they have come... when they look into the eyes of their grandchildren and see... their happiness.

Modeling our parenting extends beyond our homes... well into our neighborhood, community, and country. And I can't think of a better way to demonstrate this extension, than to bubble our ballot and vote - with smiley faces...

democracy is as easy as triangles and squares

Election Day '08 is finally here and last night over some American fried steak, we decided to let the kids in on the big deal.

It went over pretty well. There weren't any questions, and during a practice poll, only one voter asked to change their vote after the election was over. It's funny how confusing politics can be and yet when you find yourself explaining it to a 2 year old, politics isn't that hard at all.

Here's how it went down in our house last night:

Do you like triangles or squares better?

Now kids, you have to have a good reason why because you have to stand by it and support your choice for 4 years. That's a loooong time. So think about all the reasons why you like triangles - and the same for squares. Think about the things you use everyday and the kind of shapes they have. Are there more triangles or square shapes? It's hard to remember... let's make a list...

Alright. Now, come to the polling station and draw or pick your favorite shape. Some people like to concentrate with privacy and use a booth...



And some people like to share their choice and talk about it with other people who like the same shape. They get together and think of new ideas of how their favorite shape can be used to improve things.



But either way, the most important thing is that you have a choice or in this process - a vote. Now, let's add it all up and see how many votes each shape received. Look there are two triangles - so triangles win the contest.

Wait a sec - who put in this circle?

fall into the arboretum

hallo-sweet!

On the eve of Halloween, the kids, Aaron and I were treated to a very special visit from our longtime best friends, the Baxters. David and Corbin run their own production company, Soulbox Productions, which we've proudly watched grow from a dream into a successful award-winning videography business. Their creative pursuit is inspiring - and as a recent children's book I am now reading reaffirmed what I've known - it's important to expose our children to talented artists as often as we can. So we were thankful when they came over to spend the evening with us - and overwhelmed when they brought over a tray of fine sweets from a local bakery, and gifts for the kids....

We spent the night reading, playing games, cooking and enjoying each other's company around the dinner table together.



Bedtime came around too soon, and I promised Ava we'd save her Halloween treat. The next morning when Ava woke up, the first thing she asked was, "can I have my treat now?" So after a plate of pancakes, she feasted on her special treat that Aunt Corbin handpicked for her.



I had been procrastinating the decision of how to celebrate Halloween as a family and creating traditions. Will they get scared if a werewolf comes to the door? How do I moderate their intake if neighbors are generous during trick-or-treating? Is it worth battling crowds at the mall for a tootsie-roll?

Halloween is still an entirely new concept for the kids. Last year, Ava passed out treats while Noah in his aluminum wrapped spaceship-walker watched from the window. Now that they both run at full speed, I just wasn't sure... until I stumbled upon an email invite from the Women's Museum to attend their Kids Fall Fest.

We pulled out costumes from the children's dress-up bin, and explained that Halloween is a fun day, where they wear costumes, play games, and get treats. They didn't seem to mind... they were heading outdoors, and that was joyful enough.

They watched the puppet show, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, went on a scavenger hunt, made green slime, decorated cookies, colored pumpkins, and participated in a costume contest...









The kids ran around the exhibits freely, and enjoyed the lights and pictures on display. A marquee with flashing words streaming to the ceiling stopped Ava in her tracks to say, "that's amazing!"

Watching our kids interact with each other and having fun with what they are thrown into by their parents - is probably the most celebrated experience we could ever ask for in return.

For both Aaron and I, our favorite moments were of Ava when she found the first loot on the scavenger hunt and picked one piece of candy to throw into her hollow pumpkin. No one was watching. A basket of candy just sitting there - and she took just one! Then she handed Noah a piece and said, "Noah, you get one too!"



Our second favorite moment was of the kids participating in the costume contest. Their cowboy and cowgirl costumes rounded up their courage to stand in line and be judged by the crowds. We couldn't help but laugh, when Noah kept going back alone to be judged against the older kids...



We left shortly afterwards in an attempt to make it around our block so that Ava could experience a "trick-or-treat" at a neighbor's door. When we parked in front of our house, Ava reminded us that she needed a flashlight to trick-or-treat. Thank goodness for PBS and their safety tips - I love that station!



Our neighbor handed her chocolate, and she humbly accepted and said, "Happy Halloween." And since Noah was sleeping in Aaron's arms, she took the liberty to get his sack and fill it too..



We knocked on two more doors before we reached our neighbors across the street and scored the jackpot - a bounce house!



She didn't bounce for very long - the one frosted chocolate-chip cookie with sprinkles, orange lollipop, 2 Now & Laters, 2 bags of Skittles, and 2 Tootsie-rolls caught up with her. We headed home for baths and dinner - followed by the much anticipated opening of the Scary Movie Watching Survival Kit from from their very creative Aunt Corbin.



The kit included a "monster-proof" blanket, It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown DVD, 2 spooky sippy cups, and a giant bucket to hold their treats. The Baxters' thoughtful gesture rounded out the evening into a memorable tradition I see us doing for years to come...



Cuddling on the couch with our blanket, watching a scary movie, and drinking milk to wash away the excess sweet we filled our bellies with. What a great family-fun day! Halloween - we had a great time. Thanks for giving us a new family tradition... and adorning us with lasting treats we'll enjoy year after year...

dance!

On Sunday, we headed over to Addison for their annual Worldfest, an international event with food from all over the globe, live music, global games, and arts & crafts from different countries. We missed most of the highlights, but made it in time for gyros and dancing. If I had known it was going to be such an elaborate occasion, I would have trekked over there for their opening ceremonies and parade. [Next year!]

I shopped the Russian booth and found a set of Martyoshka dolls for Ava's stocking stuffer. Night quickly fell upon us, and we relaxed near the center stage where we watched chinese dragons drum through the crowd. Afterwards, the ballet folklorico performed their traditional single and couple dances. Ava couldn't sit still. Standing near us, she imitated the girls, with her hands at her hips, and swirled round and round.... [I was imagining myself sewing her a flowing skirt with vibrant textiles when I got home...] As I was thinking about the new project, Ava made her way up to the stage - and if I didn't pull on her shirt, she would have lunged up and danced with them.

Ava is naturally shy - like her mother. And when it comes to dancing, she feels like no one is watching. I was amazed and proud to see her so facinated by what so many fear doing.

Poets... and our elders all know this to be true: "Dance. Like no one is watching" and I imagine it's because they wished they did more often. Watching Ava reminded me of that, and how we shouldn't let a night fall without dancing... even if there is no music.

The event has inspired me to introduce Ava & Noah to more global music at home. Costumes would be a plus. I found my Putamayo cd's and have started researching more at the library. Early childhood educators have noted how physical activity helps children learn better. And I think dancing is the perfect antidote to get there. And learn about culture, heritage, art, language, history, and geography. Wow. I can't wait to tell you how this goes....

Do you have a favorite dance from your heritage? Or a global cd that moves you? Please share - we'd love to dance to it...

first cut

Lighter than air itself, Noah's hair is a natural wonder - just like him. Born with an ebony shade, his angel cherub soft hair grew into a helmet of golden curls, sprinkled with strands of blonde and brown mixed with a heavy layer of heaven. To me, it was simply fitting to his unique personality.

One of his signature comedic performance is when he'd shut his eyes, pucker his lower lip, and then sway his mane from side to side - making us laugh down to the core of our stomachs. But the inevitable came around the corner. His goddess-like hair turned into a frenzy of layers across his face and eyes. The gradual change surprised me. So I returned the favor, and took Noah to get his first haircut.



Embarrased by the attention, Noah frowned with disapproval. He had missed his naptime thanks to his mother's spontaneous aha moments. He didn't make a peep, and one lollipop later, he would have been happy to sit through a perm from an intern.



I wasn't sure what to tell our stylist, a good friend of Mom's who runs her own salon nearby. I trusted her instincts and in the end, we got a look at a completely different Noah... and he did too.



Hair out of view, his layers now round his face, and soften those cheeks we often bruise with too many kisses.



Cushioned by Grandma's arms, it was Ava's turn to sit in the hot seat. Another bounty of beautiful golden brown curls was surveyed, and we decided a small trim on top would make her trademark curls bounce. Ava liked the sound of that...







Sporting their new do's, Ava and Noah were true champions at the salon. And while I will anxiously await for Ava's hair to lengthen back to pigtails ... and for Noah's curls to hug his nape again, I will cherish the locks they were born with - now resting in their keepsake boxes.

They look different don't they? To me, they already are... portraying the unique faces and wonder they have grown into... ever so gradually...