first day of kindergarten

Thanks so much for all the thoughts and prayers everyone. The big day arrived, and as expected, I couldn't compose myself entirely... I knew I was going to cry, and I did. Aaron did much better- His face just turned red... had watery eyes.... we just couldn't believe her first day of school was here!

The outfit I wanted to dress her in got moved to tomorrow since today is gym class... so we went for comfort and all of her hair pulled back. Aaron and I were so nervous, bumping into each other, getting ready ourselves, remembering to breathe... that we didn't prepare a special fun breakfast like we had imagined. Or say a special family prayer.... the time, even though we woke up at 5am, didn't help. There was just so much going on....

Ava started her morning with excitement, saying over and over again, "I can't believe I'm going to school!" She made a card for her teacher...



Then we headed out the door -





Noah was such a terrific sport. Feeling the excitement for his sister, and so happy for her. He didn't ask when and if he was going to go to school. He just observed everything as we approached the school, where the yard was filled with parents, grandparents and kids of all ages...



Outside of her classroom - the most unbelievably - unexpected thing happened to us. As Ava handed her teacher an apple, her card and hugged her, Aaron leaned over to me and whispered, "the camera isn't working"....  Of all the days!?! My little trusty camera that's captured Ava and Noah's childhoods, weathered sand and rain on countless trips, and even sustained photography lessons with Ava - went kaput. Reloading the battery, helped take these last shots, before it quit again... My time was running out. The bell rang. Aaron and I were the only parents in the room. I just had to look into Ava's eyes - one more time. And let her know how happy and excited and proud I am for her to get to this day.



And maybe cry a little before letting go...



Looking back as I was standing in the doorway - I snapped this picture with my iphone. She was off... ready to get started, and be a kindergartner. She didn't look up. It was time. I headed straight for the exit for air.



Aaron and I held Noah's hands while walking back to the car. Noah said, "I think Ava's going to have a lot of fun." Aaron and I looked at each other, and knew how right Noah was... At home, we surprised Noah with a gift - a snap circuit board and doodle book for us to do today.



When I troubleshooted my camera it dawned on me that today's occasion is the best reason to upgrade for the camera on my wish list. Aaron had tried to purchase the Canon 5d Mark II for anniversaries, birthdays, and Eid gifts in the past, but for the sheer reason of cost, I would graciously decline.

Today is Ava's first day of school - to me, that's a good enough reason to make the investment now {and the fact that my SLR gave up}.  I emailed a few friends for camera store suggestions - and both agreed Arlington Camera was the place to go. After making sure they had one in stock, we drove 40 minutes to pick it up. 3 hours later, we were driving back home with a new camera {and a rented battery since it takes 24hrs to charge the new battery} and then headed straight to the school to pick her up and snap the first moment she walked out the door...



Perhaps the distraction of the camera situation was part of the Big plan because it made the day fly like colors. I didn't have the time, nor the energy to dwell on Ava not being with us today {although when I left the camera store and looked into the backseat of the car and saw her empty car seat, I let out a small sigh}. Oh.. life is so funny like this, isn't it?





And so are the kids - who wave through life's changes - in their own way...

Happy Kindergarten!

This year - there's only been one thing on my mind - K.I.N.D.E.R.G.A.R.T.E.N. And there's no escaping it. Well... I guess there is. And up until last Thursday, I had convinced myself {and was working on Aaron} to consider homeschooling Ava. I am not ready to let her go. I'm not ready to miss her so much. I'm not ready to separate her from Noah. I'm not ready to disrupt the non-existent routine we have. I'm not ready for this.

Last Thursday we met her teacher for the first time - {happy sigh} and she made me feel so much more at ease. The truth is {clearing my throat}, she's actually too great. She is so warm, sincerely empathetic, and has such a loving, nurturing presence about her. Her smile is a mile wide, and she emphasized how our communication and comfort is equally important. That night I shared with my Mom and sisters - my secret... {whispering I say, "Ava's teacher... is so awesome!"}.

Knowing this - put a huge smile on my face all day Friday - while getting ready for Ava's Happy Kindergarten dinner party with our families. My stomach still squirmed... now and then... I can just feel the clock ticking inside my heart...

But here's a snapshot of the party:



Using a lot of what we already had at home- decorating was easy... globes, easels, letter blocks spelling out words....

For the dessert table, I knew there would be little room after dinner, so I picked treats guests could take home with them in to-go boxes...



Since this was going to be family-style dining, the kids had their own table -



We set out crayons for them to draw on the table and filled containers I found in the school aisle at the dollar store with rainbow goldfish to snack on while they waited for dinner to be served...



Aaron made paper airplanes - which we hung off the chandelier {smiling}. The flower arrangement came from Whole Foods.



The serving table -



The cake table: school desk {flea market find}, homemade cake and microscope from the 1960s that belonged to Aaron's Dad....





Ava picked out her own cake flavors - she wanted buttercream cake with pink vanilla icing... And since purple is another favorite color, this miniature composition book from Party City and star candle were perfect!



We had dinner catered from Whole Foods {salmon, empanadas, artichoke-lemon fritters, pecan crusted salad} and Macaroni & Grill {Pasta Milano - Ava's favorite}.



Enjoyed great family/dinner conversation... the typical topics of what's in the news, corrupt politicians, the economic crisis... Oprah...



The kids did a craft activity too. They each had a pencil case they could personalize with stickers and then fill with pencils...



We sang "Happy Kinder-garten" to the tune of "Happy Birthday" - I didn't cry at all, which was surprising. I think I was caught in the moment of celebrating on this night and eating yummy cake, rather than really thinking about her starting school...



Lots of pictures... Proud Grandpa...



Proud Grandmas....



It was getting late - and although there was still so much to talk about, and comfort each other about- we all acknowledged... that Ava is ready. She handed out her party favors to everyone - these were made to order - candy red apples from Rocky Mountain - along with mini composition books.



For the kids, we had "paper lunch sacks" filled with school treats - erasers shaped like scissors, glue and stapler, mini paint set, a globe pencil sharpener, box of colored chalk, pencil tin case, large pencils, chocolates shaped like soccer/basket balls, and chocolate milk!



Ava was showered with gifts - her new backpack! {No. 5 from this post} along with other "school treats" from the family. 



We were so honored to throw this celebration for her. So humbled by her thankfulness and of the time we've been blessed to have with each other and help her grow. Tomorrow - a whole new journey begins. Aaron has taken the day off from work - and the both of us will be crying. We will be smiling. We will be screaming with excitement and yet so bone-breaking confused - "are we doing the right thing?"  We will hold her and walk her to class. We will kiss her a million times. And most definitely - we will make sure she knows, that we are ever so proud of our Ava...

Oh... the hyperventilating begins...

making summer memorable - alys beach 2011

Our 4th annual family beach vacation was a memorable one. As I shot these photos, I couldn't help but remember the years traveled - and looking through my lens - how different, how grown up... the kids are now. My sister and her family planned a trip out west, and although we were tempted to tag along, Ava grounded me to our summer tradition and the promise to return to the "beach" since she was 2 years old. This year was no different - she wanted to be at the beach - for 7 full days. I tempted her with Disneyland... but she refrained, and said she's outgrown the "princess stuff" {that's actually very good news!} 


So we left at 3am on Saturday and headed east - to Alys beach - the furthest beach we've stayed at along Florida's Gulf Coast. We arrived by 6pm, changed, and raced to feel the tip of the ocean...





There are so many photos I wish to share here - so instead, I put together 4 slide shows of some of our beach moments. The scrapbook story begins with our great escape... to simply get away.... which is what the kids have been waiting to do with us since the last snowfall...





We chanced the weather, water, and what our beach stay would be like... and we couldn't have shown up a better week. The water was clear and sparkling like the gem its known for, "the emerald coast." Windy mornings and evenings sandwiched perfect days - Mother nature was good to us.





Days 2 and 3... when Ava woke up, she gulped. She wasn't dreaming... she was still at the beach. A little too ambitious and sun burnt from the sun, the kids were forgiving.... and figured out how to split their time between the sand and water themselves. We brought a 9x9 canopy with us {instead of our umbrellas} - which was wonderful to catch naps under...





Aaron's Father's Day this year was very heartening and humbling... After I spoke to my Dad, Ava turned to Aaron and told him to call "his Dad." Ava remembers her Papa every day - knowing that he is no longer with us. But still, she emphasis, that he is, in some essence, still here, and very much alive in our hearts. 


Having to let go of a father is a very deep and painful loss, that from an adults point of view - seems to only widen with time. We try to splash memories of him as much as we can... but still - all of our hearts ache for Papa. I so cherish how Ava remembers him daily - and how Noah will spontaneously point out memories, in the least expected moments.  

I dedicate this next video to my father-in-law Ron and to my husband Aaron, who finds strength... every day... holding on to - our hearts. 

After the first few days, the vacation days seem to blur together don't they? There was no schedule to follow - just our hearts. We got our traditional photo shoot out of the way on the second day. And we're so glad we did! We picked up an inflatable boat for Ava to jump the waves with... and even though it flipped over in the water and she fell in, she came running out yelling, "Mom, did you see me? I was swimming in the ocean!"

Noah on the other hand, stuck to playing in the sand for the next few days - burying himself chin deep and pretending to be a "merman" and then a dinosaur, stomping on all of Ava's castles... 

When we ventured into town throughout the week, there was quite a bit of ice cream involved... along with some good eats and window shopping. We also chanced on a beautiful fireworks display at the Village of Baytowne Wharf {by far the closest we have ever been to}, an outdoor comedy show of children's fairytales, and some fun games {euro bungy, hamster balls, climbing wall} the kids were so excited to try, now that they are "taller" this year...

Days 4 and 5...
Having the children all to "ourselves" on vacation is quite a bit different than having them at home. Their personalities shine ten-fold... and their curiosity, questions, and energy... seem to be exponentially bigger... and for me personally, seeing this duo together, as brother and sister... was mesmerizing. 

What amazes me the most about the beach is how "small" we feel. There is, and always will be, so much that we won't know. And it is in this - that I find so comforting. 


The first day we arrived, Ava said, "this is the life!"

So true. But to me, so is the every day... whether we are just snuggling, tickling, racing, or reading books together...  its the infinite amount of conversations spoken - and non - discovering more about ourselves... and what's yet to come.








Until then... we're taking it one step at a time, balancing on both feet, and carrying much love...





Thank you sweet Ava and Noah... for all the wonderful summer time memories we shared at the beach this week. And as amazing as it was... know that there are better days ahead of us... simply because we have each other.

star wars makes a come back

Up in the attic, I came across Aaron's "bag" from childhood. A small maroon bag holding years of war, triumph, and probably some brother rivalry. In this bag was Aaron's collection of Star Wars figures - and its been sitting in our attic for far too long. Since Aaron had already introduced these characters to the kids during their bedtime stories - I thought it was time for them to see the characters themselves. Albeit its nice how they used their imaginations. But to me, this was one less thing to collect dust. Aaron refused. Until today...

Aaron took a deep breath, and made an introductory speech...

They didn't know what to make of some of the creatures. It probably didn't mirror what they had imagined. They looked on with interest. Noah picked up Luke and admired his sword.... I on the other hand wasn't too impressed with some of the not-so-cute figurines and weapons. So while the kids weren't looking, I started to sort through the crowd and placed some back in the bag.... these were our favorites...

As for the rest, well - it was time to play! In her tutu, Ava gathered two Princess Leias, and the three of them went right into action...

It made Aaron surprisingly happy to see years and years of his joy playing {as boys did back then} in the hands of his daughter and son... who pretended the Ewoks were ordering pizza from Jabba the Hutt... simply priceless!

sharing stories while rummaging through old clothes

What started out as Spring cleaning over the spring break week - you know, hang up bright Spring colors to liven up the place from winter.... has actually turned into a colossal cleaning - so much so that we've actually looked at the possibility of moving! Have we really outgrown our space? It's hard to believe that's the case. And I don't think it is. What is however, is letting go.

In consigning some of the children's Spring clothing from last year, Ava stumbled upon some of her favorite dresses. She grabbed onto these tightly and made a pretending "wailing" noise.

Then Noah clued in and pulled one out right from under her and ran, teasing her, "Ava... look what I've got?"...

Ava was so funny about it. She turned and ran right after him. As soon as she got one dress, Noah picked up another favorite. What was a huge draining experience, cleaning, hanging, ticketing, and pinning the clothes for the consignment sale, actually turned into a little bit of whimsical fun. The kids chased each other round the dinner table, hid among piles of clothes, and in between breaks, asked, "Mom. Did I wear this when I was a baby?"

And so the stories were shared. Needless to stay, another storage bin has been filled with items the kids (and I) couldn't part with. In fact, I ended up consigning Ava's first birthday dress and regretted it. I went to the sale and lucky me, it was still there! When Ava asked me about the dress, I told her I was saving it for.  

Ava said, "that's so nice of you to save it for my daughter." 

{sighing}....

my best friend's wedding

Karen and I have known each other since the age of 2. Both of our families immigrated to the US in 1979, and we became instant friends. Best friends. My childhood was spent every day with Karen, and we have shared many wonderful memories - memories of how I think childhood should be... climbing trees, swinging off of branches, making mud pies, dancing in rain storms, collecting lady bugs... and so on. We did everything together... But we also couldn't be more different - and that's what I love so much about who we are... and who we have grown up to be. After kindergarten, Karen and her family moved back to Brazil for a few years, then came back and settled in FL. We moved too, but we've stayed in touch through letters, phone calls, and visits  over the course of 32 years and counting...

This past weekend, she got married. And it was a very special celebration - after all, she is half Brazilian and half Argentinean! This is a photo of her and her Dad Hector - which completely summarizes their relationship - laughter. I can't think of any other father/daughter relationship that is this strong in their adult years. Hector by trade, is a gem craftsman, designing luxurious jewelry. But the greatest and most priceless jewel he has ever helped create - is his daughter, and I know he couldn't be any prouder of this moment.

Beatriz is like a mother to me. She can find humor in everything she does, and has a heart of gold. Both her parents love Gabriel like the son they never had. He's a charmer, hard worker, and so in love with my best friend, and so I have come to love him too. I wish I had more pictures, but I was in the wedding and soaked up every second I could. I can't say that I have ever seen a wedding like hers... capturing the spirit of exactly who Karen is - intimate, loving, and oh... so very funny!

I was fortunate to have my Mom with me - we made a "girls" weekend out of it - because Beatriz and my Mom were best friends too. Having Mom alone to myself was such a valuable and memorable gift. It's so rare to be able to let go of home life, kids, husband, and do things like this. But this weekend made me realize - I need to do more of them! True, I missed my love bugs very much. But I also know that I miss my Mom {even though we see each other every week} - there's something special about "getting away" together and just being ourselves.

We hit some sights in Miami, Bayside, Hollywood... souvenir shopping for our love bugs back home and wrapped up a perfectly fantastic mother/daughter weekend {no arguments either!} I simply love our growing bond, understanding of each other, and expectations. Still, she'll tell me what she thinks - and I'll do the same - and I guess in our perfect world - that makes perfect sense.

Mom - you are the best a daughter could ever ask for - I love you!

Congratulations Karen & Gabriel - I can't wait to see the video and pictures and share with everyone here. xoxo